Having no energy the last couple of days and a couple hours free during Tristan’s naps, I’ve been reading some blogs that I’ve been hearing a lot about. First I shed many tears for Kelle Hampton while reading her marvelous and beautiful birth story. That is one mother I shall never forget.

Then I came across the tragic and heartbreaking story of Layla Grace. OH MY GOD. I sat down on the couch a couple evenings ago and read the entire blog from the first entry to the heart wrenching last. The blog was written primarily by Layla’s mother documenting her sweet baby’s diagnosis and treatment of cancer, right down to her last days.

The strength and courage of that little girl, incredible. What her parents endured, watching their precious daughter’s struggle, inconceivable.

Maybe it’s because Layla Grace was just five months older than Tristan, or maybe it’s just because I’m a mommy, but this story hit me HARD. I honestly do not remember a time where I cried so hard and felt so distressed. I finished reading and leaned into Luc’s shoulder and just let it go. I cried thinking about the loss of those poor parents. I cried thinking about the suffering that sweet little girl had to endure. And I cried because I just could not imagine ever being placed in those shoes.

This was such a tragic loss, but this story had a positive impact on my life. It brought me perspective.

Tristan has been in the habit lately of waking up several times a night, needing mama, needing milk. I’ve been dragging my butt from my bed, cursing in my head, sluggishly and resentfully making my way down the hall to his room.

Last night, I wasn’t so bitter about being roused from my pleasant sleep. I lovingly scooped Tristan up, at which point his tears immediately ceased. We sat in the chair, rocking in complete silence, and enjoyed a special snuggle. And I even held him for few extra minutes, though the clock was ticking slowly toward dawn. I admired his sweet face nestled up against my chest, and I felt completely and utterly blessed to be his mama.

Because even at 3 AM, my sweet boy is not an inconvenience to my sleep. He is a precious child who wants nothing more in the world that a few minutes of comfort with his mommy. How lucky am I?

I know there are so many mama’s out there who would give their last breath to wake up just once more in the middle of the night to a  cry they will never hear again. I will never again take that cry for granted.

Thank you God for my son. And please take extra special care of little Layla Grace.

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