On the eve of Tristan’s first solo day of preschool, his mama was experiencing some major anxiety. Imagining huge crocodile tears and a sweet little boy begging his mama not to go, I was anticipating huge feelings of guilt knowing that I would have to walk away and leave Tristan at school.
This morning I told Tristan that he was going to preschool. I told him that I would be coming for a few minutes, but then would be heading off to yoga (somewhere that he knows that I go and always come back.) I held my breath. Tristan replied, “No mommy. I don’t want to stay.”
Gulp. I feared that the teary eyed first day of my nightmares was imminent.
I reassured Tristan that he would have lots of fun and I’d be back to get him right after yoga, and we went about getting ready for our day. It was a wet, rainy morning so we shelved the brand new school shoes in favour of the green dragon rain boots. Apparently, Tristan decided that this was a good day to begin asserting his independence and insisted on putting his boots on, “all by myself, mommy.” This is not a usual occurrence in Tristan’s little world.
He happily chatted on the drive to preschool. My dark sunglasses hid the tears welling up in my eyes. First he didn’t need mommy’s help with his boots and then suddenly we were en route to preschool, just like a big boy.
Despite his pleas for, "No pictures Mommy!" a mama's got to have her first day of school picture!
“Come on, Andrea.” I thought. “Keep it together!” This is part of being a mommy, to teach my son to be confident as he spreads his wings for each new adventure. I know that this is just the first of many times I am going to have to watch with pride (and a tear or two) as my little guy goes off into the world to make me proud. *Sigh.*
We arrived at school and I spent a few minutes in the play kitchen with Tristan, being served up ‘pizza’ and ‘purple juice.’ I got a hug and a kiss from my big boy who turned immediately back to the important business of “making snacks.” I saw the director in the hall on my way out and proudly proclaimed,” He’s not crying! I’m not crying!” Hooray for small victories!
I hit Starbucks for a cafe mocha, and got so many errands done, shopping at four stores before it was time to head back to the preschool. I had forgotten how much it was possible to get done when not always walking the pace of a two year old! There were moments that I missed my little sidekick but I have to admit it was nice to have a little time for mommy!
I arrived back at the school to find Tristan’s class playing outside. “He’s in the playhouse,” his teacher informed me. Tristan then popped his head out the window and called, “Mommy!” Did he run to me because he missed me so much? Not a chance. His stuck his head back in the playhouse and continued playing with the babies he had in the grocery cart.
I eventually had to bribe Tristan to the car with the promise of treats from the grocery store and the assurance that we’d be back at preschool on Wednesday.
Apparently I was worried for nothing. Tristan was ready for this big boy adventure!
A Mom Like Me 
September 13, 2010 at 4:14 pm |
That’s my boy!